" the person that cares less will always have the power of the relationship " 

is this true? cos if it is, then it scares me real bad. happened before, and i never want it to happen again.. 

why does this even exist? it doesnt even make any sense to me. if two are in a relationship, why is it still a competition who gives more fucks and the one giving lesser fucks winning instead of the other way round? is that really what love is about...? what ever happened to caring for each other, putting their concern and happiness before yours, and making them your priority went to? you see.... this is why i've trust issues. 

i just read an article on elite-daily, saying men. in general, go for the thrill. for those they cant get, those that are out of their league. once they get it, they stop.... im not saying all men do... but why? i can never comply. 

"As soon as a woman shows a man any interest whatsoever, it usually isn’t long before our interest in her begins to dwindle." - Elite Daily

 

^ this. what????? then how does relationships... long term marriages work? at all? 

its terrifying enough to let down your guards.. and be vulnerable and let someone have the complete ability to shatter your heart. i've came across a video, talking about how relationships work. how the different stages of a relationship moves from point to point. the part where the couple no longer has the 'honeymoon' phase.. when you go to the comfortable phase.. then to the tolerance phase.. always makes me afraid mine would turn out like this. especially when your past experiences isnt exactly ideal.. and it hurt like a bitch. 

yes i agree love is about tolerating each others flaws and habits and loving them no matter.. but it always takes two hands to clap. for something to work out one cannot stop trying. if guys lose interest so quickly, then how isit possible to not stop trying? i wonder. 

just to mention.. this isnt about my relationship w vin. just thoughts i have at night and yes... i blabber them all here. so hello you reading my blogpost, if you dont like the post or find it boring then you can just exit my blog. :) 

love is tough. its confusing at times. it really is. but what comes out from it is a wonderful feeling and it gives you happiness nothing can bring you. its just unexplainable. It really comes from within a person to keep a love alive. Requires understanding, and patience. anyway.. its just blabbering of my thoughts at night, pls ignore me. 

trust has always been my problem when it comes to love.. i have a problem letting my guards down and walls down to trust someone w my heart. it takes someone to stay w me for a longggg time before it comes down. but once it does, i get attached to people too easily too much............. this is my problem. is this a good or bad thing? my fears are all building up and i always have this constant fear people that say they love me and mean alot to me in my life leaving me. i have to kick this thought away. its bad to have this insecurity. need to shake it off cheryl. really really hope i can keep up.. shake it off cheryl. sleep on it and it'll all be okay. 

Goodnight. 

i dont want to seem like a insecure and crazy bitch thats overly attached and care too much. i know its all in my head. i wonder sometimes, if im the only one that feels this way. Probably. 

Be stronger and more independent, cheryl. you can do it. ;) 

" Understanding is the greatest gift to give. " 

Always bare that in mind. 

So true.